A super fabulous super high end (uber, uber) model, 25 feet wide and ten feet tall, sleek finishes, intelligently designed for the utmost freaky freshness, smell that arugula and basil, comes in high end colors that reek state of the art kitchens, and top of the line, high maintenance chefs. Price: $15, 890
Egg holder not included
Not only intelligent but absolutely intuitive, when the door opens, no need to open the door, as it senses close proximity to the door, unfortunately this includes the proximity of pets as well as people, and when the door opens, it actually says “Hello”, imagine that, a cool, liquid “Hello”, this model presents the individual or pet with a food menu system, easy to view and easy to adjust using each of its fifteen independent cooling systems. Price: $19, 999. Butter tray not included
From the ultra chic French door collection with oh, so heavenly finger print resistant finishes, and doors that close oh so tightly. Best features- an alarm every time the door is opened, and easy removal of vegetable and fruit bins, which the kids love, so easy to use as bathtubs for their toy soldiers and teddy bears. Price: $15, 398. Owner’s manual not included.
A 21.6 cubic feet, counter depth, side by side with see through door, ice and water dispenser removes all impurities from any tap water in any city in any state, water tastes like ultra, fresh, fresh snow, no need for bottled water ever, ever again. The grab and go feature is fantastic for the rise and run person like my husband who rises and runs seven days a week, rises and runs to his girlfriend’s apartment on Saturdays and Sundays, and on holidays, the jerk doesn’t even close the showcase doors which allow for viewing all of his thirty bottles of beet juice with chia seeds. Price: $21,995 Delivery not included
The Big Chill
The kids’s small dog fits snuggly in the vegetable bin in this cobalt blue model. They placed Coco in the bin over night to get him acclimated to cold weather because they are going to live with their grandparents in Maine until my divorce is final, and of course, Coco must accompany them because they sleep with him, and unfortunately, the Magic Eye control does not detect the presence of anything other than food inside the refrigerator, and more unfortunately, when the appliance experiences a drop in performance, its tracking monitor is disconnected from WIFI to central locations, such as the police and fire departments.
Price: $23,199. Egg holder, butter tray, delivery, and owner’s manual not included.