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I just left Delvin sitting on his couch staring at the bouquet of flowers I’d given him just ten minutes before. From the moment we met in a San Francisco bar I was infatuated with Delvin. And now, months later, after sending cards, (I mean who does that anymore?) accidentally bumping into him at Just Grounds, dropping hints about going out to dance, doing just about everything I could think of to earn Delvin’s heart I finally went for the old tried and true, flowers.

What a wreck it’s been!

I’m sure few people know how hard it is to be trans. The emotional and physical pains are still with me, and now I’ve arrived here, sitting on the steps outside his apartment building, sobbing. But Delvin isn’t able to see the love I can give him. He isn’t able to see just how devoted I’d be. He can’t get past that even though I’m hot, if I do say so myself, that I was once considered a male. Of course that was in body only because from as early as I can remember I’ve been a woman.

As I sit here I realize that I can’t continue. It’s all so much. It’s all too much. I need a hug.

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