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How the morning smelled
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“Stop it. That is annoying.”

My ex-wife was banging a metal spoon on my pro-grade cooking pan. The pan and spoon were on top of the last box to be moved out of the house. The box was on the kitchen counter and Mona was standing by the kitchen window staring looking out at the backyard.

She didn’t stop.

“Hit it softer if you won’t stop. I don’t want nicks in the pan.”

“What?” Mona looked over at me and let the spoon drop into the box. “Remember when we put in that swingset?”


“You were so concerned about it tipping over you.”

“That was a hot day. then it rained at night and I had to cover the footings with trash bags. Got soaked.”

“You were a good papa. It never tipped over, no matter how hard Trevor swung. He always wanted to kick those leaves on the maple tree. Got close, but never hit them.”

“He pushed hard, always did.”

I walked over to the window and looked at that the rusty swing set. It had two swings and a glider. I knocked a thousand dollars off the house sale price because I didn’t want to dig it out and get rid of it.

“I got to get to the office. Looks like we are done here.” I grabbed the box and walked out into the carport and put the box in my trunk. Mona followed me out and handed me her set of house keys.

“Ok. Let me know when it is final. you can text me, no need to call.”

I looked at the swingset and then take in the old apple tree that’s at the end of the year, by the metal fence.

“Yea, I’ll do that.”

Mona walked down the driveway and I walked into the backyard. I put my hand on the rusting glider and give it a push. It squeaked. I stopped. The grass was still wet from the morning due and it smelled like fresh dirt. I walked to the apple tree and thought of Trevor and how this was the first tree he climbed. There are small blossoms on the tip of the branches. The flowers come to the branches and then turn into fruit. A miracle I still don’t understand. I put my nose to the flower and took a deep inhale.

“Give me strength for the days ahead Father.”

Something I say a lot these days. I pinch an apple flower from the tree and keep it to my nose as I walk up to my car.


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