There was never any reason to be in a long term relationship. So many women, so little time was his mantra. Maybe it was because he enjoyed the discovery, or maybe it was because the tight wraps of society had come off in the melting pot known as America with it’s mantra of free love in a population of diverse cultures and heritages. Maybe it was because he never knew if he was never truly loved by his mother. Maybe it was the friends he kept. Maybe it was that he simply could not maintain a stable relationship?
Don was a good looking guy, with an easy smile and the look that said, I’m a successful white male. However his bank account belied that he was far from any monetary stability. His least favorite question at parties was, “What do you do for a living?”, mainly because to describe the patchwork methods he employed to make ends meet were all but impossible to explain in fifty words or less, or in any way to capture the interest of any likely partner. The fact was Don couldn’t hold down a job because he suffered in ways he did not understand and that lack of understanding eroded his ability and motivations to do any one thing for more than a few months at a time. He had his hobbies of course but work and people in the long term batched eluded him
Even though Don thought he was in control of his life, more he more like wandered aimlessly until a hopeful female would find him with an eye towards nurturing him or possibly support him emotionally until he could figure himself out. Of course all of those relationships would quickly fade or he would sabotage them which only served to reenforce his attitude that relationships never lasted and with another chip out of his heart he’d return to the search.
Sometimes he’d find a woman equally focused on short term encounters and in almost all of those encounters he felt better connected and to those women; maybe a case of similar upbringing. They’d be gone in the morning, or in a few days or once, a week, with a smile and a kiss and a thank you for the wonderful time, often never to be heard from again.
As he got older the encounters became fewer. It wasn’t that Don became disinterested. He still liked and got along better with women than men but he came to respect women more, loathed the idea that he was by definition a playboy and simply became weary of watching other men objectify them.
Don didn’t hate himself so much but if one were to analyze him they’d find he didn’t think he deserved much good in his life. Never one to be lazy or complacent the world continually showed him its beauty, there was love in this lost soul but also loss in his ability to manifest tranquility unless he stayed on his own but that too lead to loneliness. Lost in the hurt he’d experienced growing up were feelings of self doubt and feelings that he didn’t deserve to actually have good experiences, or friends, or a loving relationship. He’d been known to break out in fits of rage over the smallest things and take his anger out on just about anyone…. at any time. more jobs lost, more friends lost, more relationships failed.
Years of broken relationships lead to escalating levels of domestic violence until one day he landed himself in jail and was forced to reckon with his inner stress and the demons wired in by his parents. He was in pain. He was destroyed. Don was clearly on the wrong side but with little clue of why this had all happened. There was only two choices in front of him and one of those choices didn’t make any sense at all.
Overnight Don’s world turned in ways he’s never imagined.