The floor was cold. Agatha was in the the shared bathroom in a thin white slip. She looked into the mirror and contemplated the pain that her life had become. She was loved once.
She remembered Muttis guiding hands. How hard they worked to keep her fathers, fishing business afloat. Those hands were afraid. she remembered those hands, clasped with Herr finkum’s in marriage, both of them guiding her. Those hands were content. The joy to have a brother and a sister, both of whom loved her, protected her.
She remember how it felt to be a wife. The first time… the excitement, the kindness, the love. And then the loss. The pain almost killed her. Then miraculously, she was married again to someone who was kind, if not a little naive about how the world worked. At least, he gave her a son, whuch was the greatest joy of her life. The reason she was still alive, just to see him.
Agatha looked in the mirror again, all of that love was taken from her. Her family was dead, her husbands dead, her son, effectively kidnapped, and she had no ability to get him back.
How did she fall so low? Who was there to love her now? They say there is a God and then he protects her.
Shema ya israel. Adonai elohenu adonai ehad. Where was that God now?
How could he take away everyone she loved and everyone that loved her? I am no longer a daughter, a wife, a mother, not even a teacher anymore. I can no longer even afford books. I wash clothes, thought Agatha.