The best part of being human is that the good things come easy and good things are what we deserve.
Like this piece that just flowed out of me this very morning…..true, I’ve labored at writing since i was fifteen years old, though it actually never ever felt like labor to me…it felt like a comfortable necessity, and often I preferred writing in my journals to the pesky rehearsals I had to go to in order to make a living….but now, thankfully, I sit, I breathe and I let it flow….after all, ive had all these years of practice…..and sometimes fun things erupt from within….
like this:
SEE EUROPE THE VIKING WAY
(spoken with a delicately lilting and genteel British female accent):
Come aboard and begin your Viking Adventure Cruise!
No children allowed, because if you sneak them on and they are discovered, they will be eaten after being roasted over a warm and welcoming open fire and enjoyed with a series of vintage meads and oxblood cocktails! Only the best for our unwelcome kids!
So come ABOARD one of our luxury longboats your child-free Viking Experience.
Before boarding, you will be asked to choose an axe that best suits you, and workshops on how to keep your chosen axe sharpened and ready to slice will be offered from Day One!
In fact, a plethora of workshops and study groups will be offered! Here’s some of what you have to look forward to:
Hair Braiding Workshop 101….bring your own hair, or hair will be provided for you, fresh from the recent killing raids of Northern Europe! Learn how to braid and weave for that ever-ready warrior look you so desire! The blonder the better, we always say, but if you do have brown or black hair, a variety of acid bleach treatments will come to your rescue! Be a Viking gal or guy: blonde/blond or bust!
How To Tear and Rip With Your own Teeth 101: a workshop for those wishing for the full-on experience of what it is like to eat human flesh….no other cruise line offers such a vivid experience.
Many other such luxuries abound, and to hear more about them, contact us through your tribal horn blowing airwaves and we shall respond as soon as we receive your horny communication.
Come join us!
Be a Viking for a week, a month, a year, whatever suits your bloody desires!
Or purchase a lifetime commitment to the Viking Way for a mere 10,000 elk skins per month !
For the Viking way, contact us soon.
We await the sound of your horn blow!