There is nothing else for an actor – a professional, and I daresay an amateur one as well – nothing else but the Work….
My daily datebooks in Manhattan, during my working years, were so filled with ink, the pages were black and blue with all the auditions and classes, and rehearsals, and more auditions and more meetings than i could barely honor in a day. But honor them all, I most certainly did. Because as they say , you gotta be in it to win it, and the only way an actor “makes it” is the be IN IT , full tilt, hell or high water, come rain or come shine.
The next booking – that next show or commercial taping – waited for no man,….or woman…you had to put your soul in the room or there was no paycheck…and, yes, despite the deep pleasure of creating art, we all did have rents to pay or co-op mortgages to satisfy. NYC …well….making it there? Making it anywhere became a possibility, after the proving grounds of New York City. New York City built character in all of us, and I look back with pleasure at the people i shared that growing up process with, many of whom are friends to this day.
I soon became aware that there was no thing really as competition, because, inevitably, if that role or that TV spot was meant to be yours, it became yours, no matter how many others who looked like you or sang like you were auditioning for the part. Because no one else WAS you.
YOU mattered. Pure and simple YOU.
I’d tell my NYU kinds: it’s like a bullet: if it has your name on it, you get the shot!
Or for commercials? There’ll be another one along in five minutes, like a subway.
Those of us who were immersed in our pro careers, relished the busy-ness, the tensions, the excitement, the challenges of that old Boogie Man whose catch phrase was “You’ll never work again”…because somehow we always knew we would.
Work again that is.
And thereby, careers were made. And are made to this day.
Thereby, adventures were had, loves experienced, successes relished, failures wallowed in, and Opening Night flowers were received……so many vases over the years.,,,more vases than any normal “civilian” would ever receive in a lifetime.
Even before i had to actually make my own living as an actor, i’d judge my personal feelings of success by the roles i’d be cast in in college, or even in high school. My work was WHO I WAS! If I got cast, if I had another chance to WORK, i was okay. My “rent” would be paid. Even when i had no actual rent to pay.
And so…..
Finally , with retirement and no rehearsals getting in the way, i have a chance to write.
And I could swim all day in that luxurious ocean.
Come hell or high water.