So much I still do not understand. I’ve been alive for almost 74 years. I’m naturally an introspective person, and I write mostly to understand myself. It’s helpful. I’ve been meditating and doing yoga (which for me is a moving meditation) since my late 20’s, and these things have also helped me understand myself. But there’s still so much I do not understand not only about myself but others and the world in general.
I watched a live dharma talk on Zoom on Saturday morning, and the teacher, while talking about trying to figure out something that was going on in his life, said he decided to “meditate on it.” I hear that phrase a lot, to meditate on something. I don’t understand what that would look like. I mainly practice insight meditation and have been taught not to get caught up in thoughts while meditating. One idea is to see thoughts as clouds in the clear spacious sky of the mind and watch them come and go. If I was to “meditate on” a particular problem or situation, wouldn’t I consciously be bringing specific thoughts into my mind and staying with and/or analyzing them? Maybe the concept of “meditating on…” something is a form of meditation that I haven’t learned or practiced. This is one thing that I really don’t understand.
I know there are many things that I still don’t understand. I wonder, though, if I need to understand everything. I think as time goes on and I accumulate more life experiences I will understand more, and if not maybe that’s okay. It’s probably better not to force understanding, and just continue to let my life unfold.