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All the years of sorrow.
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When your boyfriend won’t lend you money when you need it. He thinks I’m leading a secret life he doesn’t know about because I never have the money to pay him back all at once. I admit it’s my fault. I sometimes invest money into stupid stuff such as classes I truly believe will make me a better writer — but I’ve taken enough of those now. The last time I had money, I invested $300 into this thing called “Auto-Crit.” You insert your writing and it helps with revisions. It gets excellent reviews from everyone, and it’s a one-time fee. No monthly payment stuff.

I admit freely that I spent money on classes through Story Summit and small group mentoring group while also paying back my Chapter 13. I work part-time and collect social security. I take full responsibility for my financial issues, but to have a boyfriend NOT help me when I know he has loads of money hits me in the gut and the heart. If the tables were turned, I’d help him in a heartbeat. Maybe that’s been my problem all these years. I always helped everyone even before myself sometimes. I want to invest in myself now and it’s all completely backfired. Why do I continue on this path when I know what I need to do? It’s like I keep spinning my wheels and putting money in with nothing coming out.

Now my boyfriend won’t help me.

I’m fucked.



Such visceral writing, and , as ever with this woman’s writing, totally compelling.

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