I live for the moments in life that defy logic, the ones that are seemingly beyond belief. They are the greatest inspirations in my life and keep me going through the drudgeries of everyday life. Perhaps because I’ve been so attuned to these miracle moments, they abound in my life, and again and again, I see small miracles in all things — the way the morning sunrises always are so pink on days when I am so depressed, the way the moon hangs out in the blue sky and pops out from the back of my house as if to give me a wink, the repeating angel numbers I see on my phone, the songs on the radio that seem to be playing just for me, the urge to call a friend at a specific time when they say, “how funny! I was just thinking of calling you.” The list goes on. Synchronicities abound in my life, so much so that my students have noticed it. They say there is just something about Erika. I just think it’s because I’ve opened my heart to them and am in constant dialogue with the world. I expect signs to come. I welcome them. I also trust them. I just don’t speak about them all the time. My colleagues think I’m strange enough. Little do they know that I am far more woo woo than I seem. There is peace in that, and sanity. I live a blessed life even in the midst of tragedy. Most don’t know that. They don’t ask. They assume they know what I am going through. They feel sorry for me — I lost my husband. I have had so many struggles. Nothing every quite seems to work out right for me… All of that is true, too, but it’s been in the darkest struggles that I’ve seen the most brilliant light come through. In the moment of my husband’s passing, there was only immense peace and an indescribable light in his room. There was something that woke me from my sleep, maybe even put me to sleep so I would let go and leave him room. I’m still trying to figure it all out — what that was that move me without thought, without distance. We moved as one, so simply. I just know I’d like more of that in my life, the deep sense of being at one with the world, a movement of love, a moment of peace, a moment of spirit.
By Ned Cronin
On February 13, 2022
“I live for the moments in life that defy logic, the ones that are seemingly beyond belief. ” What a wonderful opening sentence. After reading the piece, I went back and reread it. In retrospect, it foretells all that is to come and fills in who this “character” is. I also appreciated the way you sprang from the tragedy of your late husband’s passing, to the”… I just know I’d like more of that in my life…” I see it not as a longing, rather an interest, a desire of a person who would like to visit anew experiences that made her life worth living. Take these memories as jumping off points.