First take the eggs out of their clever little sockets in their carton. Pay homage to the inventor of the egg carton. Nestle them into a big pot of cold water, i know it seems counter-intuitive but it works somehow, and then heat up the water and the eggs together, to a slow simmer. The eggs will not know to jump out of the pot, they will be comfy, cuddled together and lulled into inaction by the slowly warming water. Then after a very short time of simmering, again counterintuitive since you don’t want them soft-boiled, but again, trust me, let them cool in the very same water. When the water is cool enough that you don’t say “ouch” or “shit” or ‘fuck” when you reach your hand into it, remove the eggs from the pot.
Now comes the ordeal of the peeling. If the eggs are old, they will peel more easily. If they are fresh, the shell will cling to them like white on rice. No one wants to bite down on a shard of egg shell, so be thorough, as though your life depended on it. Get every shard. They are good for your compost if you have compost, and if you don’t, you should.
It’s fun now to pop those yolks right out of those eggs, into a bowl where they will meet with mayo and mustard and the secret ingredient — fresh tarragon!!! — and parsley and some cayenne to give them their devilish character. Mash it all together to create something new and delicious.
Then another fun part, spooning the delicious revised yolks into their former cubbies in their whites. They are enhanced now, and larger, so they will spill over the whites a little, in an attractive and seductive way. Make sure each half-egg gets its due. Now take some paprika and sprinkle a bit on each half-egg, so it looks saucy and ready for anything. You may want to adorn the plate with some greenery, since this whole ritual is all about spring – some parsley perhaps. Serve to your adoring deviled-egg fans, to acclaim and huzzahs.