I’m going nowhere with my story. I’m like a ship whose captain can see shore but can’t figure out how to get there. I’m adrift like that big ship that ran aground on the tiny Italian island a few years back. Negligent captain. That’s me.
Take control, Captain. Find the route, check the chart. But I don’t want to check the chart. That’s the problem. I have no chart, and if i did, it would direct me in a familiar waterway. I don’t want that. But I must reach shore. Otherwise I won’t be able to release my passengers. And they too want to be done with this story. Merrill and James need to get on with it, not just running in circles hoping to attract my attention and tell me what to do next.
Over here, Bonnie. This is the secret. Over here. This is the key to my journey. Can’t you see what drives me in this? Really, after 80K words, you haven’t figured that out? What is wrong with you? That’s James, and he’s yelling at me.
Merrill’s fate is sealed. Or is it? He won’t tell me. Definitely no shouting from him. He’ll go quietly about his life, the mess of his life. But he could surprise me, right? Pull something out that I didn’t know about him. He’s not just a junkie kid trying to turn things around. He’s a cool guy. I like him. I sympathize with him. is that the problem? Throw something wild his way. See what he’s made of. Maybe he’ll be the one to come up to the bridge of the ship and just stand here beside me. Left, right, port, starboard. Red right returning. Ship ahoy. Go slowly. Let her drift. Wait for the tugboat to come out. Don’t try it at night.
But he’s asking for something big from me, too. He doesn’t want to go down the channel that we are starting to see. And James hasn’t even entered the channel.
Okay, so guys. I want you two to put your heads together. Yes, agree. And let me know, Sunday, latest. Because next week I expect to reach shore. OKAY??
I hear nothing from the guys. Maybe they’ve left for the weekend. Maybe it’s too late to ask them for help. But I can’t see the way. From up here on the bridge I like the view, but with a wrong turn I might run into that little island and ruin everything.
That captain went to jail in the end. He denied wrong-doing. Me too. I didn’t mean to leave the ship drifting. I didn’t meant to leave the passengers in danger, never reaching the shore.
Last chance here. One more time, guys. Get up here on the bridge and let me know. Middle of the night is fine. While I’m in the shower, fine. Any time. Just let me know!