Haven’t we all wished – don’t we all wish still – to be immortal?
Despite all we study, learn and think we know about the processes of Life and Death, no matter how well prepared we make ourselves or think we are to face that end which is everyone’s, everything’s inevitable, don’t we all somehow hold the faint whiff of a certainty that no matter what, WE will not die?
Oh, look, over there! THEY will die for sure, and in fact, oops there they go! Dead! Another one dead!
BUT NOT ME! Not this time anyway. Never this time anyway.
OF course, there are those times – what I call Golden Moments – when everything is so great, love is so all-pervasive it feels like forever, when that particular laugh line gets its largest audience response ever, when they all stand and applaud you for your work on the stage, when you finally finish that PhD thesis, or you get that raise, or are promoted beyond your wildest dreams, or when he, or she, asks you to join your life with theirs…when Life makes such good and happy sense, that you do feel like you will live forever in that moment. When you WANT to live forever in that moment.
That’s the clever little trap Life set for us all: those Golden Moments when it all seems worth it.
But – and this is the big BUT that bites us all – there will be that moment, one among the many countless f our lives, when Death will happen to us, or gently come to us, or sweetly invite us to join it, and, Biff! Bang! Boo!
The lights go out and we can rest in the knowledge that we can take a nice long nap.
Until the next life we are thrust into.
(I am a believer in reincarnation…..it keeps me sane somehow in this insane journey we are al on.)
There is that self i wished to be when Life is sweet, that self that holds onto that sweetness and remembers the smell of those freshly blooming roses. The honey of that first kiss. The “yes” when you were afraid the answer would be “no”….those moments when it feels right that you were born into your own skin.
That is the self i have always wished to be. I guess you could say i have always wished to be a Self as designed by Walt Disney and his band of Imagineers: someone whose Prince did come, who is promised always to be awakened from the deep sleep with the magic of love….i was raised on Sunday night’s Wonderful World of Disney, and i do believe I bought every crumb of the propaganda : FantasyLand has always been my favorite place in the Park.
That is the Self i wish to be forever, no matter what, come Hell or high water, come rain or come shine.
A perfectly Disney Princess .
I actually married my 2nd husband in front of the Magic Castle in Orlando Disney World …and we spent our honeymoon in the Animal Kingdom Lodge, with a balcony overlooking giraffes and hippos and other wonderful creatures. So in this is a lesson: first comes love, with a pretty long dress, and then comes:
The Jungle: the world of eat or get eaten.
I am striving to accept both worlds.