I think I must be a pre-Freudian type. I never wanted to be a man. I always liked having a female body, I liked being a kid, a girl, I like being a woman. I’ve wanted to be with men, I’ve wanted to be as strong or fast as a particular man or boy, I’d like to be paid almost as if I was one, but I never ‘envied’ a man for his gender, as delightful as it obviously is.
I love being female so much that I find it wonderful when someone who may have not been born with that anatomy, decides to join the ranks. “Shalom, Sister!” I want to tell them. “Come on in, the water’s fine and the pay is almost universally too low.”
Likewise, I am baffled by anyone who resents another person living life as the gender, or genders or lack of gender that fits their skin. First of all, seriously, what’s it to ‘em? Secondly, as comforting as it is to live in a world of man-made bipolarism, gender is not a he/she kind of place. It never was and I think that only those of us who were lucky enough to fit our passions neatly into that paradigm thought that it was. We could afford to be ignorant.
When I hear about children’s books being banned because a penguin in one has two daddies I feel very sad. I know so many gay, straight, trans people who are fantastic parents and I’ve met many anxious, desperate teens and even children who already knew that there wasn’t really going to be a role for them in a Me-Tarzan-You-Jane scenario. Sadly, they didn’t realize that none of us obvious breeders fit that either, we have such pervasive, universal good publicity on our side.
Truthfully, I don’t feel quite comfortable yet with using “they’ as a personal pronoun but that is a grammar problem, not a gender problem, not a person problem. I’m not worried about the language, we’ll catch on to it pretty soon. I’m worried about the line-up.