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Be vigorous in anything besides judgement.

I almost made a new friend recently – who I am not sure will become a full fledged friend because of this –

I was late. And then the blame was laid on me as thick as peanut butter on bread. Nothing like blame to enhance your enjoyment of the day.

I had no idea Julie was hypo or hyper glycemic – one or the other and you must eat at certain times. She told me when I arrived at her house-around the block from mine. I apologized.

But it isn’t like I’m going to not be late again. I’m 70. My mother used to say of me “she was born to be late for school.” C section I was scheduled for 9:30 am.

There have been a few times in life I have been on time – a few dental or therapy appointments, getting an MRI, but in general I’ve had to construct a life based on not being on time for anything. I knew I had to do consulting and make my own schedule, not a 9-5, and since I did that I managed to have a career. Was that self-indulgent or just practical?

Anyway, back to Judging Julie. I met her in the neighborhood, both of us out walking and it seemed like we had a few things in common -we both had a strong interest in Tai Chi, in walking, and in finding new friends. I had moved here in the last year, she a few years ago but at the beginning of the Pandemic, which was not a good time to make friends. She’s in her late 60s.

But on our first get-together we ran into trouble with my lateness. No honeymoon period. Not a good sign.

I’m not saying that I wasn’t inconsiderate – but I had run into Jim on the way over there and he had a few things to say, and I wanted to listen – he is a new friend who seems like he likes talking with me. He doesn’t seem so inclined to judge. That stop compounded with my leaving 10 minutes later than planned. It was a beautiful Summer day, one made for enjoying oneself.

Now the year is winding down, winter arrived.

I do need more friends here, and I’m in that quandary – do I try to salvage something with Julie or do I just move on to the next person? Am I being realistic or perhaps am judging her too harshly?

Flip a coin. See what the universe has to say. Heads move on, Tails, try once more. Heads.

Someone else will do well with vigorous judgement. I’ll keep engaging with open hearted ones.


I feel a lightness here in this writing in approach to these late and quirky times. I hope you are feeling that light touch that you write of. It strikes me as a fine antidote to judgement. Thanks. 🙂 Paul

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