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Now you see it, now you don’t. How is it that a city, a sovereign nation can disappear so quickly? Seemingly overnight, in a day, in a week. Not that it’s completely collapsed, no, there are brave ones defending it with all of their might. David and Goliath but I fight to the end. And so much of the city, the nation’s heart destroyed, schools, homes, civilian centers, all for nothing. The heart breaks, not just mine but the collective heart. It cannot grasp this. Now you see normal life, now you don’t. Is this how quickly things fall apart? Like a magic trick but a bad one that turns everything back in time, that pits a brother against another brother, makes woman and children have to make it alone. What happens to the men, I think. I shudder. I want to hope for hope. I want to hope it will be okay but I wake in the middle of the night remembering how the Soviets held my grandfather in the Ukraine and brought him to his death. Now my heart breaks. All of these people displaced, all losing the normal they once knew. And for what? For nothing, for some crazy notion that one person can change the world, rearrange the maps, redraw the lines, resurrect some past that is good to be gone. I am rambling and ranting this morning. Disorganized thoughts, disorganizing behavior. Unable to follow. Logic falls apart. It feels like checkmate. There are little good moves when it comes to the potentials of nuclear war. It is all too much today but still i try to drum up hope, to say another prayer, to believe that at the heart of hearts of humanity there is hope, there is a way out of this or through it to a better sense of community, to some semblance of peace, to a place where we can stand together united to help take care of each other and ourselves.