

I have to pee! It feels like a sudden pressure and then a tensing of sphincter with a real concern that I may not be able to hold back the rush. Well, this is my 66 year old bladder. When I was a kid, I could go all day without peeing. I just didn’t want to take the time. I read a book as a teen about making every moment count towards what is most important to you. I decided that peeing was way down on my list. It just took time away from more enjoyable adventures, so I just stopped going to the bathroom and held it. I kinda wanted to see what would happen. Well, a bladder infection is what happened. I never seemed to mind peeing after that. When I became a nurse, I could go 10 hours before I realized I had not been drinking water and not stopped for a bathroom break. Sometimes, I would eat by taking a bite in between patients or interventions. But, now I am retired. I have all the time I need, which is good because my bladder seems to have shrunk. My pelvic floor muscles are no longer my friends. Yes, I did push through an 8 pounder and two 9 pound babies. No, I don’t do my kegels regularly. So, now I have to be careful not to laugh excessively or sneeze when my bladder is partially full. Look out. I can be walking and suddenly I realize that I need to pee. Oh my God, how did that happen so fast and I have another mile to get home??? So I stop and hold still – talking to my urethra. “Please just hold on a bit longer…you can do it..” Then I can walk again. Once I get home, I rush to the bathroom and find that it’s not really that much, definitely not worth that incredible feeling of urgency. I feel betrayed. But, then I will be painting or working with pottery and totally engrossed for hours. I never think about relieving my bladder. I’m distracted. I think my bladder is cranky and a bit bipolar. It will allow me to hold a gallon with no complaints or barely a cup and it’s just having a little hissy fit. I cannot please my bladder. Well, keep it up – I’ll end up “going under the knife”, as my mom would say. Cut out some of the cranky parts and leave the calm peaceful and patient part. That will show you.
A pee urgency
Oh no I have to pee again
Didn’t I just go?
Has it really been 10 hours?
Oops pee time again
This time I am not near home
Bathrooms in Covid?
Nope, Not to be found at all
I used to last long
Now I don’t last an hour
I can’t go anywhere now
Unless I pee-plan
Will this ever stop?
Well I could not pee ever
Nope, bad idea
An infection gift for me
I love being old
Except for this pee problem